A little bit of history

I have a dirty little secret.

When the day is done and I've finished reading about Honduran banana plantations and I've finished analyzing the marketing of the latest Greek yogurt offerings, I sit down at my dining room table and...

...I read the latest Elle magazine.

Yeah, I know, it is so not me.

But I love my fashion mags! My favorite is Elle because the writing is actually excellent and the material goes beyond the normal affordable-versions-of-insanely-not-affordable-clothing articles. It makes me wish that I could be hot and willowy and have more people skills so I can hop over to India and write a wistful review of the peaceful architecture of the exotic former colony. And yes, they actually write like kinda like that, just better.

At any rate, I love reading Elle, but I don't necessarily give a hoot about fashion that isn't written up beautifully in some glossy that's lying next to my dinner. I don't do things like fashion shows, because I'd just laugh at the ridiculousness, and I don't do things like fashion, because good luck getting me into something that's made for humans of average-or-above vertical height (and good luck getting me into something made for those of us with below-average horizontal width). But last night I was reading the newest Elle and a dress caught my eye. And by caught my eye, I mean that I choked on my chili and coughed some black beans onto the page.

The dress was from the Dolce and Gabanna Fall 2013 runway show. For some reason, the powers that be decided that it would be a great idea to slap some Byzantine art on a couture frock and call it a day. I think I saw my favorite-to-hate Civilization 4 AI, Justinian, walk down the runway a couple of times during the show. The dresses are actually quite beautiful, but the historical motifs are just enough for me to go all fashion nerd for D&G.

Even the crown is so Justinian. It breathes evil.

I actually watched this thing twice, so enthralled was I that somebody else in the world gave a hoot about the pre-1000 AD Dark Ages. It made me slightly uncomfortable, though. I felt like I was a willing participant in the popular demolition of an individual culture. Kind of like how all fashion inspired by African clothing is "tribal couture". I voiced my concerns to Dan.

"Dear," I said, twirling my hair around my index finger, deep in thought. "I can't help but feel like I'm desecrating Byzantine culture by watching this show. What do you think?"

Dan sighed.

"Dear," he soothed, "It's OK. They're all dead."

"Oh."

So please watch and enjoy the show. And just in case anyone gets any funny ideas, I had to check the D&G website several times to make sure that it was Gabanna, not Gabbana.